Conundrum – a confusing and difficult problem or question — i.e. ME!

I am an interesting conundrum. I love to write, but among my hidden maladies is fibromyalgia, which often causes what is deemed as “brain fog”. So, despite having a fairly healthy vocabulary, I frequently hesitate to use it, feeling unsure of my present verbal abilities. However, I love to look things up. I typically look up words, even when I am well familiar with them, just as I looked up conundrum tonight “conundrum – a confusing and difficult problem or question.” I look words up to understand if they have alternate meanings, or perhaps have subtleties that may yield a different understanding of what I have read, or a different spin on what I am trying to write. But I also look them up just because I enjoy doing so.
On the other side of that coin is that I am often told that I have a straightforward writing style. It has been described as “pure” and “raw”. Part of that is a function of “me” – I prefer it that way. I am not a flashy person. I write what I feel, and the way that I feel it. But part of that may sometimes be a function of the foggy brain, only allowing me to get my point across in the simplest way. Either way – I’m okay with it. The end result is typically something I’m pretty happy with – and is representative of who I am, and what I am trying to convey.
I find it an interesting and odd blessing that the “malady” I am given to deal with as a writer is one that well matches my personality, and despite that it perhaps could be thought of as limiting my writing, possibly instead actually enhances it.


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