Rose-colored love

I have worked hard for a couple of years now to change my life. I came from what I called a shell in a hole in a tunnel under dark clouds. I have made a lot of progress, I think. But I have to admit there are times I feel like going back there. Not because I don’t believe that I see me more accurately and with much more appreciation. Not because I don’t love blue skies and puffy clouds and rainbows and bird song. But because, as much as I love them, people still confuse the heck out of me, and there are times I despair that will ever change.
But then I think that perhaps I have to keep working when I see people judging me – and realize that they are not only judging me – but judging me by standards that fail to recognize and allow for that as an autistic, or even just as me, that I might see the world differently than they do. Standards that fail to look behind my “non-standard not-up-to-par” behavior and instead appreciate a very-up-to-par heart. If I give up now, I give up on any hope I might have to help even a few individuals to see differently not only me, but anyone else “like me” they might encounter who may not be willing to work so hard as I have to try to make that very difference.
People all deserve to be appreciated for their unique gifts – for whatever their individual perspectives allow them to bring to the world. We need to all be looking at each other through rose-colored glasses – looking to see that which is there to love. And I guess until I feel I’ve made a dent in that perspective I need to stay out of my hole.


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