Friendship

A few weeks ago I wrote of a dream I had. And in that dream, I asked God what it takes to be a friend. And He replied to me that a friend was someone who knew you loved them, and was glad that you loved them, and understood that everything you did toward them – to the best of your ability – was in support of that love. And in that dream, I told God that my wish was, for each person who I love – that if He told them that description of a friend, and asked them to list who their friends were, that they would want me on that list – that they would not feel that list complete without me on it.

Being whoever I am, with whatever combination of who I am being the result of my upbringing, or because of being autistic, my biggest challenge in life has been to understand how to build the relationships that would allow me to be on that list of each of the people I care for. And certainly, with that definition, I can only see the failure to accomplish finding my name on that list as my failure. And whether that failure is because I have not found understanding, do not have the strength, patience, or intestinal fortitude to do the things I would have needed to do to find my name on any particular individual’s list – my wish is only to learn, to understand, to grow, to strengthen, to become all of what I want to be such that I can be that friend…

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