I just read a poster which said “You don’t need someone to complete you, you just need someone to accept you, completely”. From a youth of non-acceptance by my parents and my peers, I have spent years looking for what I saw as complete acceptance. And I am coming to the conclusion that what I sought is seldom to be found.
Although I can only see the world through autistic-colored glasses, it would appear that the issue of people “completely accepting” each other is one that is pervasive in our world. Not only does it differentiate us by religion, color, handicap, sex, and all those labeled differences, but by any behavior considered strange, off, un-acceptable – no matter what the particular flavor or root of that behavior might be. Judgement seems somehow an easier path than understanding.
Lacking judgement does not mean overlooking the differences or flaws of another. It does not mean turning a blind eye to the flaws. Not being judgmental, in fact, is potentially hard work, as you see and acknowledge each difference or weakness, yet understand that those do not reflect the true nature of the person – weaknesses instead typically only reflecting their struggles. Putting aside that which is strange, or that which potentially reflects weakness, to see the heart and soul of a person requires effort. But it also allows us to realize and savor in others all of what makes an individual uniquely wonderful.