Only Love…

Loving isn’t loving unless it’s expressed. Love is a verb. It is not just that incredible feeling in the heart of knowing that someone or something brings you joy, it’s more practically the responses to that feeling that you communicate and share. I am really good at feeling love. I am so afraid I will ever be lousy at expressing it. So what people see as “expectations” or neediness, or in my own words brokenness, is more simply trying to gauge my successes at expressing that love, by searching for the only benchmarks I can understand fully, the same ones I know and recognize in my own heart. Somehow I feel that looking for a positive response to love, is in fact more loving than simply blindly expressing love with no regard for how it is received. Of course I care if someone wants me to love them, of course I care if my love is happily received. If it did not matter to me that the things I do are for the betterment of those I love, then in my eyes my actions would not be very loving at all. I apologize wholeheartedly to everyone I love if my words or actions in searching for that affirmation are not what they should be, but the intent behind them is in fact only love.

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