Never having lived…

My biggest fear is dying. Not because I fear what happens after I die – although I once did, but more now because my fear is dying without ever fully having lived. Those who might know me, might question that statement, which admittedly sounds somewhat odd coming from me. While I might not have traveled the world the way some I know have had the opportunity to do, it is not the lack of countries, states, or incredible sights that would have me feeling that I have not lived. I have certainly seen beautiful things, gone beautiful places, and experienced many of life’s wonders – even as I know there are so many more to be experienced.

Yet if my travels are over, I could be content. The world is a magnificent place, and I do hope to see more of it. But it is not for lack of travel that I feel my life incomplete. It is not for lack of experiences, places, sights, sounds or even delicious flavors that I care to live longer. It is only for people.

It has been said of me that “there is no getting enough for Jean”. And while I can understand the specific circumstances that led to that statement, the truth in it goes much deeper. I just released a poster today that speaks of that lack. It quotes me as saying “I just wish to live my life in the company of those I love”. And there is – admittedly – no getting enough of that… I so love people. I so love that feeling of sharing that love – in person – with them. Of feeling my vibration align with theirs, of seeing their smile, watching the light in their eyes, enjoying every nuance of who they are… and I do enjoy that. I enjoy that more than any sight this world has shown me. More than the Alps, more than Norwegian Fjords, more than the crystal blue waters of the Caribbean. More than monkeys and sloths, and Scarlet Macaws… More than anything.

I can only hope to have more of those opportunities – to live in the blessed company of those people who make my heart come alive. If it seems to those people I wish those moments with that I cannot get enough, then I admit the truth in that, and can only promise to temper my excitement for those opportunities with the respect I do have for them and their lives, as best I can. I only ask for understanding at my very real delight any time an opportunity arises to share a bit of my life with theirs. Those opportunities are magic to me, they are bits of miracles, they are very real blessings… They are why I wish to live…

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